Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
