the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
