There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
