I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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