Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
