I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
