My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
