Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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