Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
