If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
