I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize