All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
