WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
