What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
