Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
