she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize