she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
