He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
