ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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