Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
