"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize