Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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