I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
