You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I look better un-naked...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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