he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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