peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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