In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
