We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
