saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
