love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
