I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
