So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
