so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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