Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
