i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
