you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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