Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
