Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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