How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
