So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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