i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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