Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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