yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
