What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
