marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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