i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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