okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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