Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
