There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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