i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
