Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she peed on how many people?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
