I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wear drunk well.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
