You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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