Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
