Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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