I just made out with a guy for $7.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
