There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
