We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
