I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
