I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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